Opinion

Some things I’d like to change about Halloween in North Salem

Forget the candy and give me some wine for a treat!

I picked the apples, I know what I'm wearing to this year's Pequenakonck Elementary Harvest Fair, and I have spent several hours setting up my Halloween decorations that blow up, light up, and hopefully delight passersby on my front lawn. By all accounts, I'm doing October right. And yet…

As I sip my pumpkin-spiced latte and soak up the North Salem foliage that is simply beautiful, I can’t help but contemplate just a few things that I wish were different about the Halloween season.

Haunted houses: While ghosts and goblins are scary for kids, I’d love to see a haunted house that captures my own personal fears. This includes calling Comcast and being unable to speak to a real live human representative, using an unfamiliar power tool, having my pantyhose stuck up in my skirt, and opening up my most recent NYSEG bill. *scream*

Halloween treats: Speaking of adults, why not some treats for people over 21? Forget candy; how about little bottles of red wine, Tums, and Advil? Who couldn’t use a goody bag in their purse with such essentials? Imagine as you trick or treat that your kids get some Snickers while you get a little care package of Band-Aids and Xanax to keep in your car while driving the kids back and forth to soccer. Now THAT would be a lifesaver!

Sexy costumes: I’m no prude by any standards, but the influx of sexy costumes both for kids and adults (females and males) has gotten a little out of control. It’s not that it’s that it’s suggestive, it’s more the costumes that they are trying to sexualize. Who knew a cat, a Disney princess, Little Red Riding Hood or a witch costume had a sexy side? I even saw a Cow Costume  that was described as a, “Costume Set & Choker & Stockings.” A choker and stockings? In all my time in North Salem, I’ve never seen a cow wear a garter belt. Plus, many of these costumes are made out of fabric as thin as prosciutto (which is not conducive to October weather), and bending over to pick out candy means potentially inviting the world to give you a proctology examination. Mind you – If you’re going for a sexy look, go for it –and I say work it. I’m just saying it’s not for every age (especially those under 18) and it doesn’t work for every costume theme. I especially draw the line at the sexy nun costume. Yikes!

A Definitive Cut Off Time: Is it me or is there always some insecurity around what time Halloween is officially over? In our house, we tend to go to bed a little early but every Halloween, the doorbell still rings at all hours. Of course, one of us still comes to the door because the sight of us half asleep in our pajamas is appropriately terrifying but it would be fantastic to know that 8pm, all trick or treating is over. Then again, I could just leave a bowl in the front of the house after hours for any stray ghouls, or goblins… not to mention deers, foxes and bears who like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Magic Lawn Décor: From Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas / Hanukkah, your home and front yard provides a blank canvas to celebrate the holidays. While the results can be tremendously fun, the effort can be herculean. If I could make a wish, I’d have magic garden gnomes that would morph things the morning after Halloween into a Thanksgiving theme. They’d turn a skeleton into a pilgrim, a pumpkin into a turkey and change Happy Halloween to Happy Thanksgiving, all while I slept.

Also, as a side note, I do want to mention that if you don’t like Whoppers, Tootsie Rolls, or have way too much candy in the house the day after Halloween, I have the perfect suggestion for you! There is a group called Soldiers Angels where you can donate Halloween Candy to our troops. You can not only get rid of the candy you don’t want, but you can feel good while doing it!


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